Haters Gon’ Hate!…

…and Rachel appreciates! 😉

OK…I know you probably think I’m crazy…but this blog post will explain what I mean…and why my blog name is {was} “Goody Two Shoes“.

No, I do not think I am better than anybody. (Isn’t that the “original” meaning of a “goody two shoe?…someone who thinks they are better than everyone?) The truth is, because I have low self-esteem (I am working on that..), I actually think that everybody else is better than me, in some way or another. That leads me to…

…why my blog is {was} called “Goody Two Shoes” 🙂

From the time I was old enough to care, until now (I am now 30), I have been excluded (or attempted to be excluded) from any church (yes, sadly) youth group activities, whether it be going out to eat, going on trips, just hanging out, whatever.   *I must add here that I did have one or two people that did start inviting me to go but that was when they could drive and I could ride with them. I guess they didn’t want to impose by inviting me and the rest of the group hating them….I understand; no problem ladies 🙂 (I will have to thank them personally)*  

OK…back on track…honestly, (remember low self-esteem), I thought it was me…maybe there was something wrong with me that made them not want to be around me. As I got into my teen years, if I wanted to go eat or something, I would have to “force myself” into their “group” for the night, although they were not happy about it (remember, there were two or three who did like me so I would sit with them). Even though I would go eat and hang out, when I would get home, I would end up crying, because I know by the way that the “group” acted that they did not like me. I cried…and cried…and cried. I know my mom hated to see me cry…no mother would want their child to be hurt!
If I knew they were going to eat, and if I wanted to go, I would invite myself, even though I knew I would probably end up in tears after I got home. The 2 or 3 that did like me that had cars (when they got them) did actually invite me themselves so at least I didn’t have to invite myself. It did help to be able to be away for the Hater group for the length of time when we were in the car 🙂 Still, I would usually end up coming home and crying…I’m sure it was from the tension that I felt from the ones who did not like me. As I went off to college, and throughout my early twenties, I started to realize that maybe I wasn’t the problem (low self-esteem still had a doubt, in the back of my mind). Maybe it was the positive attitude that I had (How did that happen after being “hated”?? *It was God!*) .

At this point in my life, I started not really caring that they didn’t like me and the crying got better…and eventually stopped 🙂 With God’s help, and I’m sure the new TRUE friends that I had started making, I no longer cared about whether I was included in the things “the haters” did or where they went. **I must add, my now bestest best friend (love her!!!) and her twin sister had started to our church. It was actually on a youth trip to Nashville where our “best friend connection” was made…it was from Heaven, I know! Yes, “the twins” and I were in a room together…you know, they were “new” and I was “hated” so the “outcasts” were put together…LOL 🙂**

Anyway! Armed with my God-given positive attitude and my new bestest best friend, and my other best friends (you get the point! 🙂 ), I no longer cared what the “others” thought about me.

**Before I continue, let me say that just because I do not have sex outside of marriage does not mean that I hold it against those that do….so I do not think less of you if you do…this is just MY belief, MY conviction…no need to stop reading my blogs…I still love you!**

Now, with that disclaimer out there, I continue: It was during this “making best, true, lifelong friends” stage that I was also realizing that the “haters” were doing things I did not, and still do not, believe in (again, I do not hold it against my readers if they do), like having premarital sex, drinking, some were even smoking, maybe other things that I was just not aware of…
…Fast forward to 2011-2012 (btw, still enjoying being with my true, best friends)….I am told that I had been called a “Goody Two Shoe” by one of the haters. Now, if I had found this out in those “hated, crying at home” days, I would have been completely devastated! But…since I no longer cared what they thought, it did not hurt my feelings. I actually laughed! The reason that they called me a “Goody Two Shoe” is, (the reason I was told…by someone who had realized, and gotten away from, what was going on in the hater group) was because they did not feel comfortable doing what they were doing, their sins, (not my words!) with me around.
*See above “definition”…not sure why they chose “Goody Two Shoes”*

Ha! It wasn’t me!….well, maybe it was, but not in the negative way I use to think! 🙂

So, what this one person…errr, hater, (or maybe more), called me and meant to be bad was actually a compliment to me!….HENCE-the name of my blog! 🙂 It is who I am (someone who tries her best to do what she has been taught and what she believes)!

So…..Thanks to my “Haters” for the blog name!